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    九月二十三日 给卓然。

    卓然:
        卓然,我的亲爱。我要怎么原谅我自己呢?一直在逃避逃避,然后成为一个怀疑论者。
        可能见不到你才是我最快乐的时刻。
        不想听到你的消息,却一直有你的消息传来。想到你,脑袋会轰然炸裂般疼痛。
        几次企图离开你没有成功,因为是依然渴望你的。
        我不管我们是不是只有肉欲的纠缠,亦不在乎有没有爱。因为爱,是奢望的,而我,已耗尽。
        卓然,我想到我们的孩子。应该是个男孩。那个小东西在我生命里停留了50天,它没有思想,却怨气从生。我能感觉得到。
        我是有罪的,卓然。
        可是我不想做一个败阵的逃兵。我不能以为看不见你就可以万事大吉。因为你若再出现,便可摧毁我的堡垒。
        这是令人痛心的。
        我来到鼓浪屿,这是一个愿意在这里度过余生的地方。我爱极了它。
        虽不能洗净我的罪孽,却可让我坦然的生活。
        房子是临海的观景房,欧式小别墅,带一个花园。
        我种了大片的雏菊,我想它们盛开的时候一定很好看。
        我想我已不能爱你。
        勿念。
     
                                                                                                                       迟

    Comments (1)

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    Hannah Wangwrote:
    几次企图离开你没有成功,因为是依然渴望你的。

    Sept. 23

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