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    9.9 困兽(寅迟的话)

    写字的时候,往往会分不清我是寅迟还是寅迟是我。还好。这是无所谓的。
    你像是时间的巨盘,覆盖了我最美好的时光。
    是不是该恨你。或是感谢你带给我惊人的成长。
    你的不动声色,你的沉默,你的黯然,像一个黑洞把我吸附。
    把我变成一只困兽。
    然后我突然苍老,对于青春,来不及凭吊。
    对于你的事,我已把脑袋想的晕晕沉沉。你在脑海里飞快的盘转着,令我烦躁。
    或许我只是很享受这个时刻。痛苦的麻木让我意识到自己的存在及感知。
    我是鲜活的。却即将垂暮。
    我们是不平等的,是我一直仰头看你。然后双手奉上一切。
    我情愿亲吻你的脚踝。我低头,你看不见我眼中噙着的泪花。
    你认为我的坚强的。
    对着镜子看着自己苍老的脸,想不起她曾经美好过。
    是你在苛扣我的青春还是我在毁灭我自己。
    我想我该好好度过属于自己的生活。
    而你,我不想看的太重要。
    只是我要如你一样,沉默,淡然,坚定不移。
    我想我喜欢这样。

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    Hannah Wangwrote:
    我想我不知道喜欢怎么样的。
    Sept. 10

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